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Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Internet Dating Advice For A More Rewarding Experience

Internet Dating Advice For A More Rewarding Experience
by: Jason King

Avoid costly mistakes that can put you in a worse position than when you started internet dating. This internet dating advice will show you these mistakes, and then you can save yourself from any early setbacks. Any one of these will ruin anything good that you have going or completely turn other singles off of you instantly.

First mistake singles usually make is lying on their profile. When you're dating on the internet you have to be honest. Anyone can make a mistakes on the dating profile but a blatant lie is not something someone can forgive you for. There's already a big thing with trusting people who use internet dating web sites so lying is not going to do you any favors. Honesty is an attractive trait in people.

Not sending any e-mails can affect your internet dating results. Many singles never send e-mails, and the main reason for this is you can't send any until you have payed for your membership. You can reply to other singles e-mails but you need to initiate your own contact. It's no good just setting up your profile just to receive contact from other singles. Other singles like to receive e-mails, this is what starts relationships. You can add that personal touch to an e-mail to show the other singles that you're attracted to them by what you have read in their profile.

Having an empty profile is a sure way not to get contacted. By having an empty profile you're giving the impression you're only there to window shop. You need to have a nice detailed internet dating profile so other singles can see what makes you tick. They want to see what you enjoy about life, and what your goals are. They can get an idea of a future with you this way, and it puts a picture in their mind. Remember to keep all your information positive. Being negative is another big turnoff.

Not visiting the internet dating service will stop singles from contacting you. Most dating web sites will show the last time you have been online. If you only visit the service once a month everyone will see this, and it will show you're not that serious in finding a date. Also the more active you are your profile will get higher in the search results as the internet dating service likes activity as well.

Contacting singles just because you like their photo will only get you disappointment. The most attractive singles on any internet dating service will always get the most messages. These will usually be flirts or smiles from singles on a free trial. These will very rarely get a reply so you'll start assuming that no one wants to reply to your messages. Read someone's profile first before making any contact, and then send them an e-mail. Just because you like the look of someone doesn't mean you will have a lasting relationship with them. It probably wouldn't get past the first date.

Never make any sexual requests or innuendos in any messages to another single. You might think that it's funny but it will only turn the other single off. If you want to do this then there are adult internet dating services that are catered for this behaviour. On an ordinary dating service this will not be tolerated by the singles or the service itself. You don't want to get banned from using the service because of 2 minutes of madness.

If you stay away from the mistakes above your internet dating experience will be a lot more rewarding. And you won’t be single for very much longer.

For more online dating advice, and online dating service reviews visit - The Online Dating Reviews.

About The Author

Jason King is the web master and dating adviser at The Online Dating Reviews.

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

The Big Question for Any Relationship

The Big Question for Any Relationship
by: Neil Millar

I’ve got one big question. It’s a question that will make everything in your relationship completely worthwhile… even the bits that get on your nerves and cause you head and heart aches…

It’s the type of question you wouldn’t ordinarily ask - but that’s okay, because you didn’t know to ask it… until now!

For most people, relationships don’t go smoothly. Undercurrents, disputes, emotions, periods, children, habits, morals, values, work hours and workloads, these are just a few of the kind of things that can cause conflicts. But what if I told you something…

What if I told you it’s not about the issue?

My philosophy is that no issue is bigger than the relationship. If we’re honest it’s never really the issue that causes the problem. What causes the problem is the emotions behind the issue.

And what causes the emotions?

What causes the our relationship conflicts is, at the core, very rarely the issue that’s in front of us now. This may seem hard to take at first so let me explain a little more.

When we react to something someone says or does we are in effect re-acting - behaving in way we acted before. This is what we might call learned behaviour. We may have learned that behaviour in a number of ways: watching our parents behaviour in a relationship, seeing it on TV, our own experience etc.

Are these learned re-actions appropriate in all circumstances?

I’d say no. A few days ago my partner made a sweeping statement that… well… to be frank, pushed all my buttons. What she said was like a red rag to a bull. Thankfully I caught myself before any real damage was done. I immediately knew there was nothing wrong with what she had said, or how she had said it. But the words she used, reminded me of someone else and a pattern of behaviour I ran with them. This is the type of conditioned, unconscious, response I’m talking about.

If your partner presses your buttons does it mean the relationship bad?

Conflict doesn’t have to mean the relationship is bad. It can indicate that you, or your partner, or most probably both of you, on occasions, have some things that you need to become more aware of. If you can begin to view your relationship as a playground to work these things out, the relationship can become a whole new arena of fun and games. And this is where my question can really help…

My question will get you thinking about the how you can help yourself and your relationship become a harmonious haven rather than a gladiator’s ring. It will help you be a more understanding person for your partner and it will help to spare you from saying things you’ll regret later.

The question is profoundly simple. But when you ask it and use the outcome effectively you begin to take your relationship onto a new level. Things that used to cause you problems will vanish. And when new things come up they’ll have very little power.

When you find your buttons have been pushed the question you have to ask is this: What’s this really about?

Simple isn’t it. But it takes you right to the heart of the matter. As I said, relationship conflict is rarely about an issue and more to do with the conditioned responses.

By asking my question what you do is take the conditioned behaviour and transform it into the conscious. In effect what begins to happen is this: you move beyond the past conditioned response that causes conflict and are left with the current issue. This question allows you to understand what’s going on inside you. Knowing this means you can then bypass the past and deal with what is currently before you.

But what if you don’t want to move beyond the past?

Then I guess you’ll continue to re-act it out… until the pain and loss get the better of you.

My very good wishes

Neil

About The Author

Neil Millar
I hope that my newsletter, on creating a better life, will help you create a life you deserve. Find out more at Neil Millar.